Cole had a game at 9:00 am this morning. Charlie took him early to warm-up. My mom, dad, sister came to watch. All was well until...two innings down and the coach decided they would go for one more inning. Well this is typically when Cole has his breakdown. He LOVES to hit, he HATES to field. We explain to him that if he is going to be on a team he has to help his fellow teammates catch all the balls. He refuses to put his glove on and go out in the field. Our solution when he does this is to pull him aside and make him sit. If he is not going to play with his teammates, he is not going to be free to do whatever he wants. We don't yell at him, we don't hit him, we simply make him sit. After about a minute of listening to him scream I ask him if he is ready to put his glove on and go out to the field which he sternly replies in a screaming shriek, "NOOOOOO!" at the top of his lungs. It is embarrassing but I hold strong and make him sit. I could easily let him go play on the playground or do as he pleases to muffle his cries but instead I choose consistent discipline.
Well today I apparently offended some with my parenting style. Cole continued to throw a fit, crying, screaming, in full tantrum mode and refused to put his glove on and go field the balls. After about five minutes Charlie came over and said, I am just going to take him home which I agreed whole heartedly with.
Not soon after Charlie left with Cole, an older lady walked straight for me and stated, "I am sorry, but I just have to ask what happened?"
For anybody who knows me I HATE any type of conflict. I am typically the one that avoids it at all costs and will typically sugarcoat the situation just to make everyone happy...except...when I feel threatened! When I feel like somebody is attacking myself, my family or my friends in a wrongful way, something snaps and I typically will let them have it.
Upon being asked this question, I initially wanted to say, "Excuse me, but it is none of your business!". Instead I tried to be nice and simply told her that he did not want to play so he was taken home. Well then she decided to give me a lesson in parenting. Apparently in the 20 minutes she had been at the game when all was well, combined with the zero seconds she spoke with myself or any member of my family for that matter to have any clue what my family was about she had assessed that I was not disciplining my child in the appropriate manner. She explained that at this age, a small time out is appropriate and raised her eyebrows at me as if to say how disappointed she was with me and then walked away as though she was the queen bee who just let a underling have it.
At this point I could feel every ounce of blood rush through my veins straight to my head as if it was about to explode. She went back to her seat and began to inform the moms around her of how she "set me straight". Really? Really, did this just happen?
I simply shook my head, looked at my sister, looked at my mom, looked at my daughter and said, "If they think they can sit there and cackle about me and my family, they got another thing coming!" No backing down, no ignoring the situation, no running from the conflict. I will not stand by and be made to feel like an inferior parent, I love my kids more than life itself and I am not perfect, but dammit, who the hell was she to judge me, she didn't even know my name!
I walked straight up to the group and explained that I was sorry that she was displeased with the way me and my husband chose to discipline our children but when it came down to it, it was none of her business and that I did not appreciate her sitting here discussing it amongst everybody. She quickly responded that the appropriate discipline for a child this age is one minute per year of their age. I explained that I was very happy for her if that worked for her and her family, however, since we were the parents of our son, it would be up to me and my husband exactly how we discipline our child. I told her and her fellow cacklers, "I would never pass judgement on the way they chose to discipline their children and I did not appreciate them passing judgement on me!" At that point I walked away and bit down on my trembling lip. I thought to myself, damn it don't you cry, but it was to late. When Kadence asked me why that lady asked me that question the waterworks began! Every emotion in me had come to the surface. We picked up our things and left the game.
Upon getting in my car I noticed the group consoling the women, as if to say, "you had every right to stick your nose into their business" and that it was not right of me to defend my family. Unbelievable!
I immediately called Charlie and told him we are done, Cole is not coming to another practice, another game, nothing...we were done! I explained to him what happened in between the sobs and felt all of the emotions all over again.
When I came in the house Charlie was sitting at the computer e-mailing the coach and the team mom. He began by thanking them for their time and efforts and told them how much we appreciated them. And then informed them that we would not be at the end of the year party nor the last game. I told him not to send it. After thinking about it on the way home it became clear to me that I could not let this group of moms who didn't even know me defeat us this way. We would be at the party, Cole would get his trophy. I could not let his last memory of T-ball be throwing a tantrum and being carried off the field. I want him to get his trophy because the majority of the games he did great and he enjoyed himself. He deserved to see that if you work toward something, if you try to learn, you will be rewarded. I also want to teach him that you finish what you start no matter what you are up against.
After much discussion between me and Charlie, and between us and our family members I wouldn't have changed a thing. Cole was
done playing. He wanted nothing more to do with it and instead of letting him sit their in full blown tantrum mode we removed him from the situation. We were not punishing him, I asked him several times if he would like to put his glove on and play and he just kept screaming. We made the choice we believed was the right choice and would choose to do the same thing over and over should the same situation ever come up again.
After all was said and done, I wondered at what point would I cross the boundary and become involved in another parent's discipline of their child. I have seen many parents spank their children, I have seen many parents scream at their children and although I may jump to form an opinion of that person I don't think it is my right to invoke my parenting style on them or interfere unless of course the child is being victimized and then undoubtedly I would feel the need to help that child.
I don't usually post about things like this one but feel strongly about recording this situation in a permanent manner. I want my daughter to know that as a mother you protect your babies and your family with everything you have in you and do not back down should someone pass judgement upon you. I want her to know that if she whole heartedly believes she did the right thing that she had better stand tall and not back down against a group because they did not agree.
Through the embarrassment, the tears, the anger and the humility, I feel stronger than I ever have and cannot wait to look these women in the eye and smile, undefeated, unwilling to back down, unwilling to hide.
Thank goodness for pictures and video cameras! 
I remember what a truly sweet baby she was. So precious and so happy. 
And now I get to stand by as she turns into a beautiful baby girl.
After breakfast it was off to the mall for some school/birthday shopping. Charlie and the boys tagged along and Grandma Syrros and Julie tagged along as well. Thank goodness because shopping was EXHAUSTING! Kadence was definitely more interested in the jewelry then the clothes. And keeping up with the boys was a chore in and of itself (between me and Julie we only lost Cole 4 times...not bad for one day...aye that kid!) Not to mention that the mall was packed, somebody obviously forgot what the mall looks like the weekend before school starts! After finding some super cute outfits Charlie and the boys cut out on us (enough was enough). 
After the mall, we headed to the big surprise for the evening...the BIG TIME RUSH concert. We made plans with her friend Kaitlin and her mom Clarice to grab a bite to eat and then head over to the concert.
We got to see several bands including a local band called The Falcos; H1; Cherise; The Stunners and Big Time Rush. 
The girls had a blast at the beginning and were dancing in their seats, screaming, doing all the things little girls should do at concerts like this. 
As the night progressed though we had some sleepy little ones on our hands. 
They kinda perked up when Big Time Rush came out but they weren't on stage long (only played a disappointing three songs).
The kiddos took in the shooting range at Bass Pro. 
We also hit Fashion Show Mall and of course the girls had to give the "Fashion Runway" a go!
We also visited Caesar's Palace Forum Shops so the kids could see the cool statue shows and water fountains.
Event Date: 06/20/2010
Event Date: 06/15/2010
